A while ago, my friends and I were discussing on the topic "Do you believe in fate?". Knowing me well enough, you guys probably would suspect that my idea of fate is that destiny (for me at least) is 90% effort and 10% luck. However, there are events that would be totally out of your control, that you would occasionally be tempted to play with, such as the lottery. There's already a lesson in the existence of lotteries and slot machines, and that is the odds are ALWAYS against you, and you have almost no chance of winning. So the best "effort" you can probably put in is that you avoid it anyway.
Sometime this week I messed with fate/luck whichever you call it. In fact I've been doing this for 2 months now, and it does come as a lottery for me because everytime I "play safe", it burns a little hole in my pocket. Any third person watching me do this would probably have enough sense to tell me that I'm gonna get caught sooner or later. However, there's always this feeling down inside you that tells you "I'm feeling lucky today" or your intuition tells you that you're never gonna get caught, because you've been "winning" for as long as you've remember.
If you think of this as a game, it would have made more sense to play safe 100% of the time, knowing that you're gonna get burned sooner or later. So I've learnt my lesson. Never(or at least almost never) mess around with fate, knowing that there's a 100% safety option to choose.
Mid semester tests are coming soon. I'm more than halfway through Easter. You don't really wanna know what I've been doing, apart from the studying =) However, when I look back, I realise that I've achieved some things that I'd never thought I'd do when I was 15, or even last year. Who knew that I would be able to live on my own, out here in Australia without my parents. It's been 2 months now, and although I'm not as excited as I was upon coming here, the "missing everyone" feeling has started to sink in and I do occasionally stone just to remember what people back in Malaysia are like. What mom would do when my girlfriend (who amazingly resembles my brother) does something silly, what my dad would say when I'm confronted with a lot of food or a lot of fun without regarding the consequences, what my good friends would say and sms me when Man United scores or when Liverpool scores, what my foosball mates would say or do whenever we're playing foosball, the list goes on. You just can't help reminiscing when things that are familiar to you happen. You learn so many new things here, and at the same time you get reminded time and time again that you have wonderful people back home who probably won't be missing you NOW, but the moment you see them again they'd probably hug you and go EHHHHHH WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN MAN and the feeling of meeting of an old friend would be so awesome.
I can't wait for that.
I also miss having someone to take care of me. A few weeks before I left, my grandparents and uncles and aunties would be teasing me saying "You're not gonna survive out there, you're gonna be living on your own without a maid!!! No maid you know, can you imagine having to fold your own blahblahhasbfdg......" That speech used to be so annoying, and now it's starting to make sense. Not a lot of people know this (not directly anyway) but I am quite, spoilt, hehe, and I'm now starting to feel the pinch of what they were babbling to me about. Sometimes in the morning you look at all the stuff you have to do apart from studying, you ask yourself "Why am I doing this again?" and you tend to procrastinate. You tend to do something else less productive. You'd dread staring at all the post-it-notes starting at you from cupboard mocking you "You've still got so much to do HAHAHA" and it gets on your nerves, especially when you're out with your friends and suddenly your conscience decides to obey Murphy's Law and insert whatever random shit you're supposed to do into your train of thought, it's so irritating. But you just have to do it. I find that I have no one to rant about this to because everyone's so independent. They know what to do. And that worries me a bit because I'm not ready for something unexpected to happen. I just play along and hopefully learn something out of it.
Yeah that's pretty much it, hopefully I can update once more before Easter ends, I've actually got 2 other guys having a sleepover in my room now haha.
Try and find two heads.
Until next time.
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