That's what you get when you let your heart win

There has been this thought lingering in my head for some time now, it's a frightful one, for myself none to say the least, but I can see as a sanctuary to most of my troubles. I have this problem that life gets the better of me. I've been talking to many people about life recently. People's dreams, people's aspirations, motivations and so forth. What is so interesting about "life" that so many people have so many different reasons to pursue, and enjoy, and laugh and cry and swear a thousand times over? Some have defined it as the "spice of life" where life is perceived in different flavors, from the sweet highs to the bitter lows to the awkward sours. So what is the scenario where life gets the better of you? It's like eating sweet-and-sour-and-salty-and-bitter-and-spicy-and-minty pork. It just tastes horrible, and untolerable after a few mouths. Why? because it's just meant to be sweet and sour. Perhaps life, in certain aspects, only has certain flavors. Where would "I" fit in? I always ask myself once in a while how I'm handling life. Handling it? 10 out of 10. Living life? Probably 10 out of a 1000. So many things people WANT to do, just for themselves, that you would probably never give up because you're tied down to your "life" of friends, boy/girlfriends, set futures, like "What is your ambition" isn't an open-ended question anymore.

A life devoid of friends. Lovers. Excellence. Self value. And in the end, what are you left with? Yourself. Your true, true self. Why do people strive to take on everything they can, only to drop the ball, lose control and disappoint? I was never the type that believed in "Aim low and you won't disappoint". My philosophy was similar, which is "Expect nothing and you won't be disappointed" and "Aim high so that you don't disappoint yourself when you get what's expected of the average".

I was the kind of person that could remember lots of things. In fact, I was probably trained to remember and handle many things at once. My primary school childhood was so "academically brutal" that many people have commented that my childhood has been wasted almost entirely, but I relish the opportunity to be good at memorizing. The ability to multi-task, and live up to expectations. I suppose in adulthood, you're just not expected to make mistakes. Or probably bear the consequences if you DO make mistakes.

As vague as this post seems, I will look back on this post one day, know what it means, and be a lot more enlightened than before. Amen to that.