Vaccary

Funambulist----> a rope dancer. I'm blogging at 5 a.m. Now you know something's wrong. At least someone was there to hear me out and keep me company. Emo post!!! =)

Dad's right. Relationships are a learning process, not an "achievement" or something extra to add to your schedule, or someone special that you can just hug every night. It's not easy when there's conflict in a relationship, and after the first 2 months of ignoring the little little problems that occasionally surface, the cracks are finally starting to show in the seemingly perfect relationship.

Of course I've anticipated this a long, long time ago. There will be times where I would feel unwanted and lonely(based on experience) and boy, its glad to be back, facing such a sudden emotional turn. My confidence has been humbled twice now in the past week, so I'm glad that I'm having new challenges to face, new heights to reach.

I'll assume its safe to say here that time management is key to sustaining ANY sort of relationship, let alone what I have with Naomi. And so far, we've done a pretty good job. We know what we're doing, we know where we're heading(and doing quite well at it too) and everything's sort of hunky-dory, now that the busy period of IH has subsided and everyone can finally settle down to their studies.

Since uni life has pretty much come down to a two-horse race between studies and relationships(for me anyway) I've been putting them both on equal importance in terms of "energy spent". Like I spent heaps of time on homework compared to spending time with Naomi, but when it comes to those precious, precious moments where we just talk about random shit it feels SO good to have someone to listen to you and ask you how you've been(not a lot of people in IH has that much free time).

Then comes the frustrating part. Homework and assignments are taking up heaps of Naomi's energy, so it's understandable that she'd be really, really tired once the day's done and I finally get to talk to her. It's not about the time I have with her that I'm worried about; it's just that whenever I HAVE time, she would just "KO" and there would be so much to tell her, left untold for another day. Usually I'd have LuTer or mom to talk about this kinda thing(they're always there)


but,


well, (I'm not making sense, am I?)


The relationship just seems a little like one-way traffic, you can say.

Maybe I'm just thinking too much about this relationship. I've finally been told that I think too much sometimes, so it's not surprising that I might be panicking just slightly over this relationship problem. I know that if I bear with it and sweep it under the rug, the problem would just resurface, and everything would happen again, leaving me a little stung, hurt as you might call it.

Naomi's an independent girl, I respect that. But we differ in such a way that I tend to share out my problems(as many as I can anyway), and she would keep her in her bubble, solving it herself, or at least trying to solve it herself. And it's very, very frustrating because I have no idea what's going on in her head and she's not telling me when I ask her. You tend to feel a little... lost. Yes, that's how I'd put it. And you'd just wouldn't sleep well at night.

Anyway, I'm just gonna bear with it, it's a relationship, and if you can't have the rainbow without bearing through the rain and the storm first =)

Gnite guys. I feel better already. Thank for your attention.