Faux pas Whispers

I’m very upset. Over situations. Usually I’m not upset over situations, I can laugh it off and plan the next move. But this is the kind of situation where you want to blame anything and everything else except you, but in the end you know that nothing good will come out of it, and you just wanna collapse and cry. And go home.

I’m just glad that I have some things to fall back on, such as writing. Such a hobby often has been my downfall, expressing my feelings to the unknown public, but personally I feel that anyone who bothered to find out about my feelings deserves to know, unlike most people who just say what they wanna say and go away.

I’m still looking for my “life’s catalyst”, the kick start to my moods, my dreams and ultimately my purpose. I’ve actually discussed this with a few of my friends, they too are in that same soul-searching stage in life that gives them direction. I wish them all the best.

Studies have been decent so far, at least things have been on schedule. Nowadays I constantly think of my parents who work so hard just to build a better future for their children. Maybe that’s why I wouldn’t like spoilt children, but I wouldn’t like kids who are too liberal either. I can imagine someone having to think about the pressure of performing well, as well as the financial pressures in the family. I don’t want my kids to worry about that. But that would mean that goodness knows how long before I start having kids lol.

Sometimes I would like to replace something else rather than myself as the centre of the universe. I’ve bee told by people that matter, that “it’s not all about me”, and I believe them. I wish that I knew what to do to exuberate that kind of behaviour. Perhaps that is why I indulge myself in other people’s stories. Sometimes I also realise that people don’t like what I want. Maybe that’s why I don’t tell people what I want. What I dream of. Coz it’s what disgusts people, especially people who genuinely wanna know, I just wished that I could find someone who would understand. It’s probably also why I find it hard to empathise or sympathise with people’s problems, it’s probably because I don’t really expect them to empathise with my problems either. Not that they wanna know anyway.

At least I’ve calmed down now. Thanks for reading, appreciate it