Fear

It is that time of the year again, but much earlier. Exam timetable came out yesterday, I got one of the "perfect' schedules where there aren't two subjects which are too close to each other. 9th, 11th, 15h, 22nd. The stage is set, all I need to do is perform.

Am I anywhere near ready? No.

The feeling I should get staring as this schedule is excitement. But its not. It's fear. Fear that I am aiming for the minimum and i'll fail again. This exact feeling has only happened once to me, beginning of last year when I failed, and I tricked myself to believe that I can cover everything in 1 week. And I didn't. So here's the plan:

1. Stop everything you're doing. Forget the standards, forget the lifestyle. YOU ARE IN DEEP SHIT NOW, YOU HAVE A MONTH TO PICK IT UP SOLDIER.

2. Friends can wait for later. They won't notice that you've gone for a month.

3. Your Game folder is non-existent. Go listen to Jazz Radio and read Roald Dahl instead. Don't you miss your guitar?

4. Close yourself out for a month. Imagine the personality disappearing, and I shall be void of this life, and totally, intensely be focused on the task at hand, which is owning this exams. I can do it if I start now; It is time to prove that. GOAL: H2Bs for all subjects this time, there will be nothing but joy and satisfaction on the last paper June 22nd, when I walk out that exam hall, and punch both hands into the air, being free.

So to anyone who cares enough to read this and is concerned enough, please understand that if I am shunning you or snubbing you, I am in dire straits and I can't see anyone right now. I will post my inner thoughts through this blog only.

Cya guys in a month.